


Roswell New Mexico Fanfic Files

by djchika



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Coda, M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-11-23 17:45:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18155033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djchika/pseuds/djchika
Summary: A repository of missing scenes or post-episode ficlets for Roswell New Mexico mostly focusing on Michael Guerin and Alex Manes.Note:- I'm marking this as complete since I’m not sure if I’ll do one for every ep. If you want to be informed of updates follow me on tumblr or subscribe to this fic!- Any necessary tags will be added at the beginning of chapters including changes in rating.





	1. 1x08: Malex Missing Scene/Coda

**Author's Note:**

> I highly suggest you subscribe to the work to get updates <3
> 
> also find me on tumblr: djchika and twitter: djchika_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (because Michael deserves a shoulder to cry on too)

He wasn’t even sure how or why, but suddenly Alex was in his trailer. His arms wrapped around Michael, offering warmth and safety and  _home_.

Just like that Michael had tears running down his face.

“It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” Alex murmured quietly. Familiar hands carded through Michael’s hair as he sobbed his frustration, his fear, his heartbreak into Alex’ shirt.

Alex didn’t even know. Alex had no clue what he and Max were on the verge of losing, but Michael believed him anyway. He  _needed_  Isobel to be okay.

He was just so fucking tired.

“Shhh. I’m here,” Alex whispered and Michael wondered if he had said that out loud. He let his heavy eyes slip close, and between one minute and the next he was waking up groggily.

The rising sun peeking through his trailer shades was the first thing he noticed. The second was Alex. One arm looped around Michael’s waist, holding him tight. Alex hadn’t even removed his jeans and he knew, without a trace of doubt, it was because Alex had been afraid of waking him up.

Sunlight caught on Alex’ cheeks, spilling across his skin and making him look radiant in the dark hole that was his trailer. He watched mesmerized as Alex’s lashes fluttered open, lips curved into a smile, eyes warm and bright and—

_I love you._

He wanted to say the words. Wanted to let them tumble out of his mouth and relieve some of the pressure against his chest. Wanted to beg and plead that Alex not let him fracture from the weight of carrying this secret.

Michael wanted, but he couldn’t.

It had been years. He hadn’t said a word and he wasn’t going to say it now.

For now, he satisfied himself with cupping Alex’s between his hands and pulling him close until their lips met. He let himself melt against Alex, sinking deep in him and never wanting to resurface, never wanting him to leave.

So he doesn’t. In a fit of selfishness, Michael ducked down, settling himself on Alex’s chest. A small smile tugged at his lips when Alex instinctively wrapped his arms around him, one hand resting in his hair.

“Thank you,” he said, the words rough and thick against his throat. It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough to explain the width and depth of his love and gratitude.

“Go back to sleep.”

Michael breathed, listening to the steady beat of Alex’s heart and let himself succumb to his fatigue. Sleep found him still holding on to the Alex’s promise of  _‘I’m here’._


	2. 1x10: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (because I sorely need this friendship)

 

“What are you still doing here?” Kyle asked, one hand deep in a bag of chips. He’d have to run an extra mile or two, but it wasn’t like he had a lot of options. How did Jesse Manes survive in this place without a damn pantry?

Alex barely looked up from the monitors. “I have work to finish.”

“Uh-huh.”

Good old, Alex. Never met an emotional confrontation he didn’t find an excuse to avoid. Of course, now Kyle knew it was because of years of trauma with the Master Sargeant, but as his former best friend, Kyle wasn’t going to let him lose a chance at happiness.

He parked his ass on the table, staring at Alex until he scowled (harder) and stopped typing.

“Are you guilt-tripping me right now?”

“No, I’m not.”

Kyle totally was.

“You are. You’re doing that face your dad does when he’s disappointed in our life choices. Like when we tried to build a spaceship that one summer and almost blew up the tool shed.”

A bittersweet ache filled his chest, but Kyle didn’t waver. He was his father’s son. And his father could make any criminal crack. Kyle could crack Alex easy.

“I’m going to talk to him,” Alex finally snapped.

Just a little more.

“I am. Stop making that face.”

Kyle let out just the tiniest sigh.

“Fine.”

Alex pushed back the chair, grabbed his jacket and stalked towards the exit.

Rewarding himself with a congratulatory mouthful of Cheetos, Kyle called out, “I’m totally going to be best man at your wedding right?”

If it wasn’t unbecoming an airman, Kyle was pretty sure Alex would have given him the finger.


	3. 1x09: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (An expansion/semi-meta of the last scene in fic form)

“Then what do you want to say, Alex?”

Michael spread his arms out. An easy target. Alex hadn’t left, but it was more of the same. They would fight, fuck, then Alex would find a different reason to leave. Only to come back the following week and do it all over again.

Really, it was doing wonders for his self-esteem.

He stood what little ground he had. If Alex wanted to get in his pants, he was going to have to come to him.

But then Alex's next words hit him like a freight train.

"That I loved you.”

Michael exhaled painfully, the breath punched right out of his chest. This was it. The big, messy break-up he wanted. He asked for this. Goaded Alex into it. He was finally losing Alex for good and it was all his fault.

"And I think that you loved me too. For a long time.”

Michael wanted to grab him and shake him. _Loved_ you? I _still_ love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. They were barely five feet apart but Alex was unreachable. Light-years away.

“Yeah.

He couldn’t look him in the eye. Not when Alex didn’t want to see what was right there.

Alex kept talking and finally Michael understood. It wasn’t about them at all. Or maybe it was in some twisted way. He had to wonder if Alex even realized he was using their past to get to his answers.

“Do you want wanna know who I am? Or do you want to know what I am?”

The worst part was, he would do anything for Alex. Expose all his secrets until he was stripped raw. Naked in his own skin.

“Yes.”

His heart thumped in his chest. The phantom ache in his left hand flaring and making him clench his fingers into a fist. For a second, Michael drowned in the feeling of helplessness. Of being pinned down and overpowered.

It wasn’t the same thing. It _wasn’t_.

Alex might be asking for the power to destroy him, but Michael had to trust him not to use it.

“Okay.”

It was a small movement, but Michael saw the way Alex breathed out. As if he hadn’t been sure what Michael would say.

Alex looked down and a dark part of Michael whispered that this was the part where he’d find a reason to leave. He braced himself for another excuse, but instead Alex caught hold of his hand, unfurling his fingers gently. Michael watched as Alex laced his fingers through them. The heat of his palm seared through Michael, crowding out the edging panic and fear.

“No more secrets.”

Alex eyes still shone with a sheen of unshed tears laced over a layer of doubt, but underneath Michael could see an almost stubborn resolve. A belief. In him. In them.

His heart pounded faster, this time with a rediscovered hope. He wanted to crush Alex to him until there wasn’t any space left between them. He wanted to sink his fingers into his hair, press his thumbs against the curve of his jaw and sink into the fullness of his lips.

Later.

For now, Michael looked at Alex and saw past the pain and scars and memories that had easily turned into nightmares.

“No more secrets.”

This time, neither of them looked away.


	4. 1x10: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A snow storm, a snow shovel, and a snow ~~angel~~ alien.)

 

Loud, obnoxious scraping pierced through Alex’s fitful sleep.

He sat up clumsily, the last vestiges of his dream still clinging to the edges of his subconscious.

The stale air of the bunker, his father watching over his shoulder as his fingers worked faster and faster towards an ending he didn’t want. Michael’s console a cascade of rainbow light with every broken code. In a corner, Magoo screaming at him to stop.

It didn’t take a government cryptographer to figure out what it meant.

The thought of Michael leaving for Tennessee had sucked the air from his lungs. Michael leaving the planet? It was like the ground had opened up underneath him and apparently had his subconscious screaming.

Alex wasn’t sure why his screaming part of him was represented by a five-year old Kyle Valenti. Probably because Kyle always acted like he was five.

Outside, the scraping sound continued.

He considered just ignoring it. Maybe it was a branch. Or a coyote. Or it could be the fourth alien out to murder him.

Death was not part of today’s agenda. At least, not before he figured out the mystery that was his relationship with Michael Guerin.

He slipped out of the cocoon of warmth that was his bed, fitting his prosthetic over his stump. It twinged in protest, already anticipating the cold.

What he _had_ been planning was to stay in bed all day. Alex had taken a lot of things in stride. His father’s hatred of him. Having to go to war. Fucking _aliens_. It took the thought of Michael Guerin not being part of his life to shake him. If he couldn’t drink his feelings into submission, he was going to wallow them away.

That fucking alien better be out there.

Carefully shifting part of the curtain, his lips curved into a faint smile when he did see an alien. Michael was at the end of his driveway, holding a snow shovel. He was clad in his usual ensemble, barely protected against the snow aside from a worn beanie that was causing his curls to stick out everywhere.

It was stupidly adorable.

Also downright stupid because he was going to get pneumonia in that outfit.

Wait. Did aliens even get sick?

Leaving questions about alien physiology for later, Alex pulled on his coat and boots and stepped out on the porch. The outside air mixed with the artificially heated atmosphere of the cabin for a second before he was plunged into the freezing cold.

“What are you doing, Guerin?”

“Landscaping,” Michael yelled out with a sarcastic smile. He threw the last dump of snow to the side. “Wasn’t sure if you could shovel the driveway with your prosthetic. Didn’t think you’d answer honestly if I asked.”

“So you just did it,” Alex said, unable to keep the awe from his voice. Warmth erupted inside him despite the cold seeping through the thin fabric of his pajamas. The world tilted under his feet, but he was getting used to it when he was around Michael. It was dizzying to be so in love with someone you could lose at any moment.

“Come in before you freeze.” His voice scraped against his throat gruffly with the effort to tamp down his emotions. _You’re the bravest man I know._ Right. Yet here he was, too chickenshit to face his feelings for the man he’d been in love with since high school.

Michael was looking at him warily, seeming to interpret his earlier silence as disapproval. “I was just about to leave.”

“Guerin, get in here. I have coffee.”

The surprised grin Michael threw his way was as bright as the sun. “As you wish, Major.” He tossed the shovel into the back of his truck before jogging up the driveway to follow Alex inside.

Warmth greeted them and Alex let it settle in his bones. Michael was beside him, rubbing his hands together and Alex was suddenly and acutely aware that he and Michael were alone in his home.

Where there was a bed.

A soft, comfortable bed.

A soft, comfortable, _sturdy_ bed.

Heat spread up his neck when he saw Michael staring at him curiously.

“I don’t know how you take your coffee,” he said, hoping to distract from his brain fritzing out.

Michael shrugged. “Lots of sugar. Preferably spiked.”

Alex considered their options as they moved to the kitchen. The cabinets barely held any essentials, subjected to a homeowner still unused to living off base. He got the coffee going and then started rooting around in the cupboards.

He pulled out an old bottle and peered at the expiration date. “The only thing I have is aged cooking sherry.”

“Couldn’t be worse than acetone,” Michael said, straddling the kitchen chair.

Alex determinedly kept his eyes on the shelf and not on Michael’s thighs as he put the bottle back and grabbed the sugar. “Stick with the sugar. Less chances of you needing to be re-incubated.”

Michael laughed, his entire face lighting up as he looked at Alex. It was a sight to behold. Beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Alex’s blood was jittery in his veins, buzzing and vibrating and—

“I don’t want you to leave,” he blurted out.

Michael’s smile faded, his eyes wide and unreadable.

Panic grew inside him, until he could feel it bubbling into a desperate need to flee. He didn’t. He promised he wouldn’t. A promise he made to himself. To Michael.

Alex stepped closer, near enough that he could reach out and run his fingertips over Michael’s knuckles, feel the knit of scars on his left hand.

“I mean— You should if that’s what you want,” he said, quietly, “but I—   _I_ don’t want you to leave.”

The coffee stopped gurgling and Alex was glad to have something to do while his simply worded confession hung heavy in the air. Combat, code-breaking and sex, he was good at. Words coming out of his mouth? Not so much.

His hysterical brain enlightened him to the fact that tying Michael up would fit two of his three strengths.

Pushing away the inappropriate thought, Alex handed a steaming mug to Michael. A tentative hand reached out for his and Alex froze, staring at where their hands met, before his eyes moved to Michael’s lips, then his nose, then his eyes.

He didn’t realize he had been scared to look until relief flooded him at the soft, openness in Michael’s face.

“I’ve never had a reason to stay. Max and Liz, of course, but... “ Michael swallowed, an act that lasted both a microsecond and a thousand years, before he continued,  “I didn’t know I wanted to stay until I saw your face in the bunker—”

“Guerin—” Alex started, regardless of how much it would hurt for Michael to leave, he didn’t want to be his crutch, but Michael squeezed his hand to stop him.

“ —I didn’t know that I still had you.”

And that was the plain truth of it. No matter how hard he tried to pretend otherwise, Michael would always have him. Not just a part of him. Not a small piece of his heart reserved for past lovers, but his entire soul.

Alex let the magnitude of it all settle in under his ribcage until he could breathe again. It stayed there, thrumming with the steady beat of his heart and bringing with it a sense of calm.

It was what gave him the courage to stare at Michael, nothing but honesty in his gaze. “You’ll always have me. Whether you’re in Roswell or in another galaxy. That’s not going to change.”

Alex let a comfortable silence descend between them before adding, “Unless you’re a psychopathic serial-killing alien. Then I’m turning you in to black ops.”

“You say that like it’s a joke, but your family has literally been running a secret government operations for almost a century.”

“Guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

Michael’s lips pulled into a genuine smile, eyes crinkling at the corner. It was corny as hell, but it made sense that someone so gorgeous had come from outer space.

“I guess so.”


	5. 1x10: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Outside POV. Malex gets to know each other. Maria watches.)

 

Her mother always said they had a gift. It didn’t matter what it was called - psychic ability, empathy, keen perceptiveness - they spotted things other people overlooked, noticed details other people glossed over.

Maria never saw _this_.

It was weird watching them now. Michael and Alex were at one of the pool tables, their beer bottles glinting in the light, forgotten in a corner. She didn’t think she’d ever seen Michael leave a drink unfinished, and yet this one had barely been touched.

He was leaning on the edge of the table, deceptively casual but Maria could _feel_ his intensity. She had watched Michael flirt for years, had experienced it first hand, but it was nothing like this. Alex was the center of his world and Michael was happy to orbit around him.

The part of her that considered Michael a friend was glad to see it went both ways. Alex smirked when he sunk his shot, but the smirk quickly turned into a gently smile when Michael ribbed him, smacking him jokingly with the end of his stick.

She had known Alex since they were toddlers, had seen the way the years had hardened him and turned him from a sweet boy to a cynical man. It was like watching a different person now. The gaze he trained on Michael was tender, the apples of his cheeks holding soft humor that made him look a decade younger.

Maria was forcibly reminded of a clear afternoon in the park, Alex waxing poetic about a boy that had changed his life.

“Two bourbons and a scotch.”

Tearing her gaze away, Maria fixed the drinks and handed them over. She then busied herself with cleaning so she’d stop creeping on her friends.

Guilt still sat heavy in her stomach over what happened between her and Michael. Guilt and a sense of loneliness she would never admit to anyone. She loved Alex and Liz. She _wanted_ them to be happy. She just wished she didn’t feel so alone in comparison.

Alex laughed, a sound so deep and full-bodied that Maria couldn’t help smiling to herself as well as she glanced in their direction.

Damn.

A gasp punched out of her chest when their emotions hit her.

Joy. Tentative love. _Hope_.

Even from across the room it was like a shockwave. A sudden burst of power unleashed.

Michael was staring at Alex openly and Alex was starting right back. Blue and green and yellow splashed over them from the neon lights, but it was nothing to the way color exploded between them as they stared.

They were _glowing_. Wrapped up in their own little world.

She understood now. It was never meant for her to see. Whatever it was that existed between them transcended her gift, a secret that existed between two people who fit each other like matching puzzle pieces.

If she still believed in soul mates that’s what she would call them.

Just as suddenly, it was gone. Alex looked away and Michael stepped back. A single step. Like he was tethered and there was only so much give.

Alex was back to holding himself like someone was about to hit him and Michael was once again the epitome of the cocky cowboy from the wrong side of the corral.

Still, a spark burned between them. Bright and strong and eternal.

It was hidden from everyone else, but now that Maria had seen it, she couldn’t unsee. She wondered if it existed between anyone else. Maybe that could be her new thing. Psychic Readings and Love Matches.

She laughed to herself as she wiped down the counter, forcing herself to look away.

With a certainty she had never had before, she knew that they’d be okay.

And maybe she would be too.


	6. 1x11: Malex Missing Scene/Coda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (”Alex made me believe there was a place for me here.”  
> A coda set in the future.)

****One day, not today, probably not soon, but someday Michael will wake up every morning to the rustle of sheets, fingers tracing the curves of his back, soft lips against his bare shoulder.

Some days it will be followed by Alex’s body pressed fully against his, lips traveling up and turning Michael’s sleep-warm skin liquid hot.

Other times, Michael will be treated to Alex burrowing against his side, chasing the last couple of minutes of sleep before he’s forced to face the day.

Rarely, he’ll wake up cranky after being forced to lie in bed alone all night, only Alex’s voice over the phone and his scent still lingering in their sheets to help him sleep.

Michael will hate those days, but his favorite days will be Sundays.

On Sundays, Michael will watch through eyes still grainy with sleep as Alex wakes up at the crack of dawn to exercise with Kyle.

He’ll grunt as Alex tries his best not to wake him, but always does.

He’ll smile secretly as Alex glares at the ceiling for a good five minutes before heaving a sigh and pushing off the covers.

He’ll try to pull Alex back into bed when he walks past him in workout clothes that show off a physique that will be leaner after leaving the air force, but will be no less toned, and will be graced with a kiss that he’ll never be able to turn into more (that is until Michael learns to do _that thing_ and then Alex will always be late to meet Kyle).

Alex will sweep a thumb over Michael’s bottom lip before placing a soft kiss on his head.

“I’ll be home before lunch.”

“Good. There’s this new pasta recipe I’ve been wanting to try.”

As soon as Alex heads out Michael will immediately grab Alex’s pillow from his side and bury his face in it.

On Sunday mornings he’ll lie in their bed, breath in the scent of Alex and smile.

Michael will drift back to sleep thinking: it’s good to be home.


	7. 1x12: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Road trip fic!)

****Alex Manes was no stranger to high pressure situations. He’d been trained to keep calm under fire, to withstand days of deprivation and torture. And yet somehow, barely thirty minutes into the drive, he was already losing his goddamned mind.

“I swear to all that is holy I am going to leave you both in the middle of the desert!” he growled, slamming a palm against the steering wheel.

For one glorious moment he was rewarded with blissful silence.

Then, because decades of Manes karma seemed to be chasing after him, Michael and Kyle started arguing. Again.

“I’m just saying we wouldn’t be trying to beat a storm if Valenti didn’t insist on that stop over.”

“It’s a road trip! Road trips require snacks!”

Jesus Jeremiah Christ. Why the fuck did he choose to leave his service pistol?

Michael stuck his head between the seats to gape at Kyle. “We are going to a classified government facility that is most likely holding extraterrestrial secrets.”

“Two hours away, outside of the county. Road. Trip.” Kyle emphasized, taking an extra large bite of whatever cardboard-tasting health bar he had grabbed from that gas station.

Warm, soft breath tickled against his neck at Michael’s disgusted snort and Alex nearly swerved off the road.

“Guerin!” he barked, trying to hide his embarrassment. Thankfully, Michael didn’t seem to notice why. Kyle, however, was smirking at him. Hard.

Alex gave him his deadliest don’t-you-date glare which Kyle countered with exaggeratedly wide who-me? eyes.

Then because Kyle was a bastard, he said, “Yeah, Guerin. Stop distracting the driver.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Can you just sit back?” Alex asked in a gentler tone.

“Of course, you’re taking his side.”

From the rearview mirror, he could see Michael pouting as he slumped down, arms crossed over his chest. It was the same stupidly cute betrayed pout he had thrown his way when Kyle had claimed shotgun and Alex hadn’t objected.

He blew out a breath, reminding himself that he had bigger problems than his high school best friend and high school sort-of-boyfriend refusing to act their age.

“I’m not taking anyone’s side. But for the sake of my sanity, grab my phone and my earphones from my backpack and drown out Kyle until we get there.”

Michael continued to pout for a minute before giving in and doing as Alex suggested, but this time settling behind Kyle’s seat and ramming his knees into the back.

“Guerin,” Alex pleaded before a scuffle could ensue. He had survived three days in captivity for fuck’s sake. Apparently all it would take to break him was subjecting him to Michael and Kyle together in an enclosed space.

He waited until he was sure Michael was sufficiently distracted before he glanced over at Kyle who was chewing at the last bit of his bar smugly.

“Stop.”

“It’s not my fault your boyfriend doesn’t like me.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Alex corrected in a low voice.

Kyle scoffed. “That look he’s been giving me? That’s a ‘stay away from my boyfriend’ glare.”

“Or maybe it’s because you’re being such a dick to him.”

“Consider it payback for his part in your aborted bender.”

Fond exasperation grew in his chest. Before high school and Kyle’s descent into douchedom, his brothers had been subjected to Kyle’s special brand of protectiveness. Alex assumed he had grown out of it, but these days Kyle was as much of an enigma as the alien mystery they were chasing.

“You are so strange,” Alex said, summarizing his thoughts into its most salient point.

“You’re in love with an alien and I’m the one who’s strange?”

Alex didn’t miss Kyle’s smirk when he didn’t immediately correct him this time.

Before he could shoot back, Michael pulled out his earphones, a scowl on his face. “Are you two talking about me?”

“Yes,” Kyle replied honestly, “we were talking about you. We should all do this another time. Maybe see a movie. I’d probably be on call and wouldn’t be able to go, but we totally should. Friday night good for you?”

Alex rolled his eyes at Kyle literally asking Michael out for him, but couldn’t contain his chuckle at the utterly confused look Michael was giving the back of Kyle’s head. And because Michael couldn’t see Kyle’s face, Kyle took that as an opportunity to mouth ‘best man’ at Alex.

The certainty of a future with Michael settled in his spine, even if the rabbit-heart beating of his chest questioned it.

Maybe. That is if Kyle and Michael didn’t end up killing each other first.


	8. 1x12: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (From the eyes of a mother.)

****Pain laced through her as she swayed against the heavy weight of skin and bones. She had survived decades of torment by feeding off the hope that her son was alive. That he was safe.

And now, there he was.

Starved eyes, drank in every inch of him. Gone was the happy child she once held in her arms. Bright and curious and full of love. His face was pale, drawn, eyes wild and in obvious pain. The jagged pieces of her soul ached to comfort him.

She willed herself to focus, nausea swelling inside her as she pulled at abilities she hadn’t used in decades. She had to get him out. She had to save him.

The rhythmic thudding sent an echoing throb inside her head

For a merciful second the pounding stopped, but her relief vanished when she realized why. Revulsion and fear threatened to bring her to her knees at the sight of the face that had haunted her since the crash.

Manes.

Only…

Only it wasn’t.

The disgust and clinical interest of the younger Manes was replaced with a raw empathy, and instead of the uncaring, ice-blue eyes of the older Manes, his were a deep brown, flooded with tears and mirroring the distress that consumed her son.

She couldn’t hear their words even through the broken glass, but his emotions screamed, loud as the sirens.

Anguish.

Desperation.

Love.

Whoever this man was, he loved her son.

A sob cracked against her chest as peace stole over the part of her that had lived in endless misery.

Her son was going to be okay. This man, who loved her son almost as much as she loved him, was going to make sure of it.

Gathering the last of her strength, she placed her hand on the glass, trembling when he completed the connection.

_It’s okay._

_I love you._

_He loves you._

_Go._

Breaking away from him was like breaking off a piece of her heart.

She locked eyes with the man, right before they left.

_Thank you._

Closing her eyes, she let out a breath.

The ground trembled.

Finally.

She was free.

 


	9. 1x12: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (meta disguised as fic)

Alex took the stairs down two at a time, panic clawing its way up his chest. Drowning him in fear.

Michael.

He had to get to Michael. Had to get him out.

Resistance was the last thing he expected when he finally found him.

“They’re my family, Alex!”

Michael’s scream tore at Alex. He looked around, his vision swimming. Countless pairs of eyes stared back at him, all of them blank and devoid of hope.

Except for the one Michael was desperately trying to free.

He caught her eye and he knew what he had to say.

“Okay! Maybe. But you’re mine.”

It was the most honest thing he’d ever told Michael. No ambiguity. Just honest fact.

Michael was  _his_  home.

“I don’t look away, Guerin.”

It was a reminder. A promise.

_I love you._

_You are it for me._

He had spent so long running away, fighting against the pull that existed between them and Alex couldn’t do it anymore. He wasn’t going to lose him now. Tears tracked down his face but he held his ground, unwavering even as Michael twisted knives into his skin.

_No._

_I’m not going anywhere. Not without you._


	10. 1x13: Malex Missing Scene/Coda Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the closure we deserve)

Alex scrambled to his feet as Michael’s truck came into view. His pounding heart had quieted while he waited, but now it was back to dancing against his ribcage in a frenzied tarantella.

“Were you waiting here all night?” Michael asked as soon as he was in hearing range.

“I know it’s early— but I just— I needed—” The speech he had rehearsed was gone, instead words were spilling out of him, one on top of the other.

“Breathe. I’m not going anywhere.” Michael grabbed a bottle from the dinged up lawn table, shook it and then chugged whatever liquid it contained. “I said we should talk and there are things I want to say too.”

Alex sat down on the lawn chair, clasping his hands between his knees. He waited until Michael was sitting in the seat in front of him before starting.

“What I said last night— about fighting my father’s battles instead of my own— part of it is realizing that as much as I want to get to know you and for you to get to know me, it’s not going to happen because I don’t know _who_ I am.”

Michael opened his mouth and Alex knew he was going to object. Remind him of all the things that _Michael_ thought he was, but Alex couldn’t yet believe himself to be.

Alex raised a hand to stop him. Afraid that if Michael did, he’d forget everything he needed to say.

"I’ve been focing myself to be the person my dad wanted me to be for so long—“ Frustration seeped into his voice, making it quiver. “I’m Jesse Manes’ son, but I don’t know who Alex Manes is.”

He took no offense when Michael flinched at his father’s name. His father was a monster. They had every right to fear him.

“I don’t want to be my father’s son anymore, Guerin.” His stomach twisted into knots as he implored him to understand. Knowing what he was supposed to do didn’t make it easy. It wasn’t like before. He wasn’t running away. He wasn’t leaving him. “But I need to figure out who I want to be first.”

The smile Michael gave him was bittersweet. “You think dressing in your old emo clothes will help with that?”

Alex laughed softly, looking down at the leather jacket and boots he had dug out of his closet. He’d bought them on a whim years ago, but had never had a reason to wear them. “Probably not,” he said honestly. “It’s a start.”

“I get it. It’s not what I expected, coming back here. I thought you were ready to proclaim your undying love.” Michael grinned, the one Alex knew he put on when he was fighting not to let the world break him. “But I get it. We’re both looking for a fresh start.”

The wire that had coiled around his chest since seeing that video, seeing firsthand what his father was capable of, unwound with a snap. Relief coupled with an echoing loss. For so long pain and misery had peppered his connection with Michael he hadn’t realized how heavily it sat on his chest.

Alex bit his lip, unshed tears sticking to his eyelashes like morning dew. “It doesn’t change what I said. You’re my family, Guerin.”

Michael’s right hand clenched against the seat, his left in his pocket hidden from view. “I don’t think I’ll ever look away,” he said after a moment, voice hoarse.

He stood up to leave. The smile that lifted his lips didn’t reach his eyes, his words sharp shards of glass against his throat. “Maybe it’s okay to look away sometimes.“

Michael stared at him before nodding carefully.

"I’ll see you around, Guerin.”

The distance to his car was both the span of a breath and the length of a lifetime.

“Alex–”

He almost didn’t turn around, wondered what would happen if he simply pretended not to hear. He didn’t think he’d ever know. Not when it came to Michael. They stood there for a moment. Staring. As if committing each detail to memory.

Finally, Michael said softly, “We found each other after ten years. We’ll find each other again.”

Refusing to let the sob escape from his throat, Alex nodded then got into his car.

He only looked at his rear view mirror once.

 


End file.
